Yellow
by CmdrJade
Summary: For you I'd bleed myself dry"
1. Prolouge

Title: Yellow  
  
Author: Jade  
  
Summary: What went on in Vaughn's life during Sydney's disappearance.  
  
Spoilers: Just general knowledge of Season 3  
  
Rating: PG-13ish  
  
Distribution: Anywhere! (Let me know where, so I can visit, though)  
  
Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be. No matter how much I delude myself. Author's Notes: The idea from this story didn't come solely from my mind. It's a product of speculation from people who are much smarter than me over at TWoP's Vaughn Board. Plus, I know others are writing similar fics, but I honestly haven't been keeping up with the Alias fics out there. So any similarities are unintentional. Really  
  
***  
  
Truth is in a tall beer. Staring into the amber liquid, I saw myself and the truth I reflected.  
  
The truth was, I looked horrible. The truth was, I missed Sydney. The truth was, I am going to die in this pub, a lonely, disheveled man without a name.  
  
My body ached with the thought of Syd and burned with the desire to die.  
  
I was hiding in London, of all places, in a pub where I drank myself into oblivion every night for the past six months. I had been numb for six months. My only human contact had been the strange woman who had sat next to me one night a few months ago. We went to my "place", a one-room rat pit. She left early in the evening, disturbed that when I climaxed, tears streamed down my face and I yelled Sydney's name.  
  
I decided human contact was not for me.  
  
I fit in in London, reverting back to French and dressing like a European. I had almost forgotten my English, it had been so long. I pretended I didn't know the language.  
  
I swirled my alcohol around and thought of how well I had blended in. It wasn't hard for a spy to pretend to be something he's not. I barely gave the man next to me a second thought as he suddenly sat down. I was shocked to hear his familiar American accent.  
  
"Hey, man, maybe that should be your last one," he said, turning towards me.  
  
I glanced up and froze. "What're you doing here?" I fired out angrily.  
  
Weiss flinched. "Whoa, buddy, English. Don't know French. That well."  
  
"How did you find me?" I growled. And here I had just been, admiring my chameleon-like ability.  
  
"Dude, *English*!"  
  
Suddenly, an internal switch flicked and all the events of the last six months stored themselves in the French section of my mind. It was easier to compartmentalize with languages.  
  
"How the hell did you find me, Weiss?" I asked, my American accent coming out strong. "I thought I disappeared."  
  
"Yeah, you did a damn fine job of it, too! The whole goddamn CIA is looking for you."  
  
I shot him a look. He shrugged.  
  
"Well, me and Jack, anyway. Kendall's curious, but I think he understands. Everyone else just thinks you're batshit insane."  
  
I smiled a little to myself, the act at first seeming unnatural. "I *am* batshit insane."  
  
Eric gave a small laugh. "Well, look, mental state aside, this is no pleasure trip I'm on. I'm here to deliver a message."  
  
I sighed and took a drink. "Of course. This cloak and dagger shit will never end. Disappear for months and friends still only show up to give half-shit answers."  
  
"Mike, dude," Eric said forcefully, "I've been worrying about you. I know I just said it's not a personal visit, but I'd have come if there wasn't a message anyway. I've been looking for you."  
  
I smiled humorlessly and drove my finger into a dent on the bar. "You found me."  
  
"It's Jack. He wants to see you."  
  
My heart skipped a beat. Shit. I considered Jack a friend, but he was still one scary sonofabitch.  
  
"Where?" I asked. Eric threw a folded piece of paper at me.  
  
"Some warehouse in Paris. That's the address."  
  
I opened the paper and memorized the numbers, ripping it up when I was done.  
  
"As soon as you can," Eric said. "For now, I gotta go. Don't want any tails to know I was here," he smirked. With that, he disappeared and I sat, alone, finishing my beer. 


	2. Chapter One

Chapter One  
  
Jack Bristow. What the hell did he want me for? I hadn't seen him since Sydney's funeral. He was just getting ready to leave when I came to say goodbye. Stoically, he took my offered hand and drew me into a hug. After my initial shock, and fear, faded, I broke down, hysterical in his arms. We both shared an intense love for Sydney...  
  
I snapped out of my thoughts, reaching the address Weiss had given me. I took a deep breath. Here goes nothing.  
  
Pushing the door open, I stepped inside, the stale air immediately reaching my nose. I walked forward a few steps, my shoes echoing loudly. The lights suddenly flickered on, illuminating the warehouse.  
  
"Agent Vaughn," I heard Jack's familiar tone. I turned to the side. There he stood, the same stony expression on his face. And next to him stood Irina Derevko.  
  
My stomach lurched with hatred. "You," I breathed out angrily, taking an unconscious step forward. She smiled her deadly smile.  
  
"Nice to see you again, Mr. Vaughn," she said pleasantly.  
  
"Jack, what the hell is going on?" I stammered. How could Jack Bristow be standing in an abandoned warehouse with Irina Derevko, his ex-wife and one of the most wanted terrorists in the world, and not have her handcuffed and a CIA team standing behind him. "What is she doing here?"  
  
"Helping," he simply answered. He took a step towards me. "Vaughn, Weiss and I have been tracking you down for quite some time now."  
  
"Spit it out, Jack! Why the hell am I here?" I asked, surprised for a moment that I would interrupt such a dangerous man.  
  
But nothing mattered, I realized. With Sydney gone, *I* was a dangerous man.  
  
"You're pathetic," he spat out. "You've done nothing but drown in self- pity for six months--"  
  
"What the hell else am I supposed to do?" I shouted, cutting him off. I stepped closer and stuck my finger in his face.  
  
"I lost *everything*, Jack," I forced out between gritted teeth. "Everything that was important to me."  
  
"Snap out of it, Vaughn!" He yelled in my face. "Have you learned nothing since you met my daughter? *NOTHING* is certain in this business, Vaughn, *nothing*."  
  
For a brief moment, I wondered if maybe Jack was in even deeper denial than me.  
  
"The house was burned to the ground, Jack," I said slowly. "The DNA--"  
  
"Means nothing," he cut me off. "You know as well as I do that in this business, nothing is what it seems. Nothing is ever certain. And in Sydney's death, nothing has been proven."  
  
My head dropped to my chest. This was insane.  
  
"I, for one, can't believe you gave up so easily," Jack said.  
  
My head shot up. "What the hell--"  
  
"You spent years investigating your father's death, joined the CIA because of it, yet you do nothing for Sydney? Maybe your love for her was not as deep as you claimed."  
  
My fist connected with his face. The unexpected hit sent him reeling backwards, but he kept his footing and his composure. Pure rage washed through me.  
  
"What the *hell* do you suggest I do then?" I asked through gritted teeth. My hands were still clenched at my side.  
  
"The Covenant," Irina said. I looked at her in surprise. I had forgotten she was here. "It's a small organization, still mostly unheard of. They may have something to do with Sydney's disappearance."  
  
I winced. Disappearing is what I had done. Sydney, I had thought until now, had died.  
  
"Go back to the CIA," Jack cut in. "Let the NSC question you, which we know they will do. But you need to gain the trust of a specific operative. Lauren Reed."  
  
"Why her?" I asked.  
  
"Because we have reason to believe she's really Covenant," Irina said. "And even if she's not, the NSC will know more than we do right now." I shook my head in amusement. The insanity would never end.  
  
"It may be... quite dangerous," Jack said. "But we need to find out if Sydney's alive and this is the best plan we have."  
  
I stared at the floor. My resolve was building up and the pain of the past six months was fading away. Of course it was possible Syd was alive. Of course I would do anything to find out.  
  
"Whatever the risk," I said, looking at Jack and Irina. "I'll take it."  
  
TBC 


End file.
